What Is Grief?

Grief is love with no place to go.

Grief is many things to many people. While we all experience grief, it is deeply personal and looks different for each of us. How we grieve depends on our relationship with the person—or the thing, the thought, or the idea—we are losing. Grief is complicated. It is chaotic by nature. It is complex.

While grief is most often associated with mourning a loss after it has occurred, grief can also begin well before that loss takes place. This earlier form of grief is known as anticipatory grief.

Understanding Anticipatory Grief

Anticipatory grief is the experience of grieving before an actual loss takes place. It is a natural response when we are anticipating the death of a loved one, or when we are facing a significant life change that will inevitably lead to a loss. Although it can be just as difficult to navigate as the grief that follows a loss, it is a normal and expected part of saying goodbye.

What You Might Feel

Anticipatory grief can show up as a wide range of emotions—sadness, anger, fear, guilt, relief, or even unexpected moments of calm. You may feel several of these at once, or move between them quickly. You might also notice physical effects, such as fatigue, changes in appetite, or trouble sleeping. All of these responses are normal. Try not to suppress what you’re feeling; instead, allow yourself the space to experience it.

Gentle Ways to Cope

• Express your feelings. Find healthy outlets such as journaling, talking with someone you trust, or creative activities like art or music.
• Stay present. The future may feel uncertain, but you can focus on the moments you have right now. Mindfulness or meditation can help you stay grounded and centered.
• Connect with others. Joining a support group or talking with people who have walked a similar path can provide a sense of community and understanding.
• Care for yourself. Rest, nourishment, and gentle movement support your emotional well-being during this time.

Reaching Out for Support

Talking with a counselor, social worker, spiritual care provider, or trusted friend can help you process what you are going through. Many find comfort in connecting with others who have experienced a similar loss. You do not have to walk this path alone.

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At MJHS, we value both personal and professional caregivers and recognize the critical work you do. That is why we have created these online caregiving resources to help you through this crucial time in your life. If you need additional help and support caring for your loved one, please feel free to contact MJHS. We can recommend other care options available to you through one of our programs.