When a loved one is approaching the end of life, it is natural to wonder what their final moments will be like and what will come next. Having a sense of what to expect can bring comfort and help you feel more present when the time comes. Whatever you are feeling, please know there is no “right” way to walk through this—and you do not have to walk through it alone.

How Quickly Do People Die?

There is no easy answer to this question, because every person’s journey is different. For some, the dying process unfolds quickly. For others, it can be more gradual, taking days or even weeks. Your hospice care team is there to walk alongside you, helping you understand the changes you may notice in your loved one and what they might mean.

What Does Someone Look Like When They Have Died?

When the moment comes, your loved one’s breathing and heartbeat will quietly stop, and they will no longer respond to your voice or your touch. You may notice that their eyes or mouth remain partially open, and it is common for them to lose bowel or bladder control. Their skin may still feel warm to the touch, even as it begins to take on a softer, waxy appearance.

These changes are a natural part of the body coming to rest. Even though they may feel startling in the moment, nothing has gone wrong—your loved one is at peace.

Who Should I Call After My Loved One Has Died at Home?

Take a breath. There is no rush.

If your loved one was receiving hospice care and had a Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) order in place, please call your hospice care team rather than 911. Hospice is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, with someone there for you at any time.

If your loved one was not receiving hospice care, please call 911. The dispatcher will stay on the line and guide you through what to do next. If your loved one had an out-of-hospital DNR or other advance directive (such as an MOLST or POLST form), have it nearby to share with first responders so they understand your loved one’s wishes.

Either way, it is also okay—and often a real comfort—to call trusted friends or family who can sit with you, hold your hand, or simply be near you. Reach out for whatever support feels right.

What Happens After I Call Hospice?

A member of your hospice care team will come to your home and move gently, at your pace. While there, they may:

• Confirm the death and offer their presence and care.
• Remove any tubes, as appropriate.
• Provide emotional support to you and your family.
• Offer guidance on what to do with any remaining medications.
• Call the funeral home on your behalf, if you wish.
• Arrange for any medical equipment to be picked up.

A social worker and a spiritual care provider may also be available to sit with you, listen, and offer comfort or spiritual support if you would like. There is no expectation for you to feel a certain way or to do anything in particular—they are simply there for you.

Is There Someone Who Can Help Me Grieve?

Yes. Bereavement counselors associated with your hospice care team typically offer up to 13 months of grief support after a loved one has passed. If your loved one was not receiving hospice care, support is widely available through community organizations, nonprofits, and religious institutions.

Grief does not follow a tidy timeline, and it is not something you need to carry on your own. Whether you reach out in the first few weeks or many months later, support is here for you. This continued care is one of the ways hospice walks with you—well beyond your loved one’s final day.

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At MJHS, we value both personal and professional caregivers and recognize the critical work you do. That is why we have created these online caregiving resources to help you through this crucial time in your life.

If you need additional help and support caring for your loved one, please feel free to contact MJHS. We can recommend other care options available to you through one of our programs.